On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Categories: Health
Listen to the last episode:
Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?
Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?
Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.
Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.
As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
How to Practice Wise Compassion
How to Break Negative Patterns
How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships
How to Prioritize Clear Communication
How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls
How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience
Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
- 00:00 Intro
- 02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age?
- 05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters
- 08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time
- 13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship
- 17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate
- 21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection?
- 24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner?
- 28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires
- 31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate
- 35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story
- 37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries
- 42:36 We All Want to Be Liked
- 45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet
- 49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time
- 52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating
- 57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping
- 01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person?
- 01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages
- 01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage?
- 01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue
- 01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt
- 01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner?
Episode Resources:
- Lori Gottlieb | YouTube
- Lori Gottlieb | Instagram
- Lori Gottlieb | Website
- Dear Therapists Podcast
- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Previous episodes
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609 - Lori Gottlieb: 7 Answers to Dating Questions You’re Afraid to Ask & How to Break Free from Relationship Timelines Mon, 18 Nov 2024
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608 - 4 Simple Habits to Boost Focus & Stop Getting Distracted Fri, 15 Nov 2024
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607 - Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within Mon, 11 Nov 2024
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606 - Can You Be Friends with Your Ex? Fri, 08 Nov 2024
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605 - Dr. David Spiegel: 10-MINUTE Hypnosis Hack to Rewire Your Brain & Reduce Stress 80% Faster Mon, 04 Nov 2024
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604 - Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women? Fri, 01 Nov 2024
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603 - Tom Hanks: #1 Theory Tom Uses in Order to Live a Balanced and Fulfilled Life Mon, 28 Oct 2024
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602 - The Tell Them Method - How To Stop Holding On To Emotional Baggage and Regret Fri, 25 Oct 2024
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601 - Dr. Mindy Pelz: #1 Question to Ask Yourself if You Want to Get Rid of Your Belly Fat & The ONE ingredient to Add to Your Diet that Will Suppress Your Appetite Mon, 21 Oct 2024
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600 - 3 Things To Do If You're Still Not Over Your Ex Fri, 18 Oct 2024
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599 - Jelly Roll: 5 Powerful Ways to Overcome Guilt and Shame & How to Finally Forgive Yourself Mon, 14 Oct 2024
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598 - Can People Really Change? 3 Signs Someone Will Change Fri, 11 Oct 2024
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597 - Dr Joe Dispenza: 5 Ways You're Blocking Yourself from Manifesting Love & 7 Steps to Attract Genuine Love Mon, 07 Oct 2024
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596 - How To Master Your Emotions in 90 Seconds & Save Yourself From Regret Fri, 04 Oct 2024
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595 - Shawn Mendes: How to Let Go of Your Past Self and Fully Embrace Who You’ve Become Today Mon, 30 Sep 2024
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594 - The 4 Types of People You Meet in Life & How to Handle The Way They Treat You Fri, 27 Sep 2024
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593 - Andrew Huberman: How to Increase Your Dopamine by 60% & Optimize Your Brain’s Response to Stress Mon, 23 Sep 2024
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592 - Why You are Experiencing Dating Burnout & 3 Practical Tips to Stop Having Repeated Disappointments in Dating Fri, 20 Sep 2024
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591 - Ryan Holiday: Why You Need to Reparent Your 14-Year-Old Self & How to Overcome the Fear of Not Being Good Enough Mon, 16 Sep 2024
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590 - 8 Reasons Why Traveling Alone is the Ultimate Path to Self-Discovery & Why You Should Take a Solo Trip Fri, 13 Sep 2024
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589 - Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits Mon, 09 Sep 2024
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588 - 12 Hard Lessons I Learned In The Last 12 Months - Birthday Special Fri, 06 Sep 2024
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587 - Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma Mon, 02 Sep 2024
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586 - 10 Proven Strategies to Boost Productivity & Create a Clear Plan for Achieving Your Goals Fri, 30 Aug 2024
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585 - Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life Mon, 26 Aug 2024
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584 - They Weren't The One For You and That's Ok (8 Steps to Breakthrough Heartbreak) Fri, 23 Aug 2024
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583 - Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids Mon, 19 Aug 2024
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582 - 6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels Fri, 16 Aug 2024
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581 - Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating Mon, 12 Aug 2024
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580 - Why Your Unresolved Trauma is Keeping You Stuck & How to Rewire Your Brain to Move Forward with Laverne Cox Fri, 09 Aug 2024
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579 - Robert Greene: How to Deal with Negative People When They Are in Your Family, Friend Circle or Work Mon, 05 Aug 2024
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578 - 4 Ways We Self-Sabotage & 3 Ways to Improve the Relationship We Have With Ourselves Fri, 02 Aug 2024
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577 - Fat Joe: How To Be Successful After Hitting Rock Bottom & Stop Letting Failures Define You Mon, 29 Jul 2024
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576 - Why Your Relationship Checklist is Getting in Your Way & How to Stop Questioning if You are With the Right Person Fri, 26 Jul 2024
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575 - Elissa Goodman: 3 Health Secrets From Celebrities Favorite Nutritionist & 2 Health Trends You Are Wasting Your Money On Mon, 22 Jul 2024
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574 - How to Know When it is Time to Change Careers & Turn Your Passion into Purpose with Baby2Baby Co-CEOs Fri, 19 Jul 2024
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573 - Dr. Rahul Jandial: What Your Nightmares Are Trying to Tell You & How to Know Which Dreams You Need to Pay Attention to Mon, 15 Jul 2024
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572 - Why There’s No Such thing As the Right Person at the Wrong Time & Why Your Ex Was Never The One Fri, 12 Jul 2024
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571 - Melinda Gates: Why Your Perfectionism Has Been Draining You & 7 Reasons You Should Spend Time Alone in Silence Today Mon, 08 Jul 2024
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570 - Why You are Wasting Your Time with Cardio & 6 Small Changes to Make For Weight Loss (The Secret Behind Kim Kardashian’s Workout) with Senada Greca Fri, 05 Jul 2024
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569 - Rob Dial: How to Break the Cycle of Procrastination & 3 Ways to Change Your Repeated Thoughts Mon, 01 Jul 2024
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568 - Why Love Is Not Enough & 5 Things to Focus On More in Dating & Relationships Fri, 28 Jun 2024
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567 - Jonathan Haidt: Why Social Media Has Caused a Collapse in Mental Health & #1 Way to Solve Your Anxiety Mon, 24 Jun 2024
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566 - If You've Been Feeling Drained... Listen To This (9 Steps To Recover And Avoid Burnout) Fri, 21 Jun 2024
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565 - Taylor Hill: How to Navigate Emotional Challenges & Ways to Practice Gratitude in Lifes’ Unexpected Hard Times Mon, 17 Jun 2024
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564 - Do You Compare Yourself or Your Relationship to Others? 5 Surprising Ways to Stop Letting Comparison Steal Your Happiness Fri, 14 Jun 2024
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563 - Dr. Casey Means: 5 Early Warning Signs of Disease & What Your Body is REALLY Trying to Tell You Mon, 10 Jun 2024
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562 - 8 Signs You Are Subtle Settling In Your Relationship & Overcome the Fear of Being Alone Fri, 07 Jun 2024
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561 - Anitta: 6 Ways to Heal Your Inner Child & Let Go of Past Trauma Mon, 03 Jun 2024
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560 - 7 Habits to Be Present When Everything Feels Like It’s Moving Too Quickly (Busy People Listen Now) Fri, 31 May 2024